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Who’s the Judge?

Why is it that we hate ourselves? Why do we sometimes lack hope for our future?

When I was young I was extremely critical of myself. Even though I had become a Christian at a very young age I never believed that I could reach God’s standard for my life. God seemed to be very demanding and the Bible seemed to be very judgmental, expecting too much of me. I wondered if I would ever be good enough to please God.

As I grew older I realised that it wasn’t God who was being so hard on me – it was my own self-criticism. I realised that I was trying so hard to please God because I felt like a complete failure all the time. My own wounded spirit was causing me to expect God’s judgment on everything I did. I was afraid of rejection.

I eventually realised that Jesus died to liberate me from condemnation and judgment – especially my own. Because of my faith in Christ I did not need to fear death and the final judgment. I did not need to judge or condemn myself and God certainly wasn’t going to do it. So I fired my inner judge and got on with God’s work instead.

I finally understood the meaning of GRACE. It wasn’t just a once off gift that I received at my conversion, Grace was a continuing gift enabling me to become more like Jesus and to please Him every day. God’s power, not mine. God’s Spirit in my life. My old self with its hurts and disappointments melts away…the new self is being remade. The more I trust God, the more I trust myself to Him.

God loves me, despite me. True statement.

So why do we hate ourselves and why do those around us have low self-esteem? Because we do not understand God’s grace, compassion and love for us.

So no more self-hate and self-loathing. God loves us. Life is filled with hope. What more is there to say?


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